Helena's FAB new grape clog shoes.
Friday, 20 May 2005
Saturday, 14 May 2005
back in the US of A
How happy am I?
I've got that 'bar voice' when you've been talking loud in smoky crowds, I am watching Barefoot Contessa make home made granola from Helena & Michael's guest quarters, I am about to go get a pedicure and I just had a terrific coaching session.
Ahh, America.
Blog readers, I have so much to update you on, and I will...
For now, just know I have a great big smile on my face.
I've got that 'bar voice' when you've been talking loud in smoky crowds, I am watching Barefoot Contessa make home made granola from Helena & Michael's guest quarters, I am about to go get a pedicure and I just had a terrific coaching session.
Ahh, America.
Blog readers, I have so much to update you on, and I will...
For now, just know I have a great big smile on my face.
Tuesday, 19 April 2005
what? no bugging?
People -- I thought you CARED! I haven 't written for 19 days and no one has even NOTICED. Wah.
Ok, maybe you were being polite because I was 'in the soup' awaiting word from the old UK Home office on the old visa. Well, I heard. And the answer was a nice fat no.
Needless to say, there are other details to be made, but suffice it to say, I'll be visiting my homeland in May. Sushi, burritos, dollars, NPR, local phone calls, Fresh Fields, beaches of Florida, siblings, parents, beloved friends, margaritas, the metro, loud Americans, cheerful Americans, HBO, right hand side-drivers... bring it on.
Ok, maybe you were being polite because I was 'in the soup' awaiting word from the old UK Home office on the old visa. Well, I heard. And the answer was a nice fat no.
Needless to say, there are other details to be made, but suffice it to say, I'll be visiting my homeland in May. Sushi, burritos, dollars, NPR, local phone calls, Fresh Fields, beaches of Florida, siblings, parents, beloved friends, margaritas, the metro, loud Americans, cheerful Americans, HBO, right hand side-drivers... bring it on.
Friday, 1 April 2005
in the soup
yeah... I haven't been very inspired the last few weeks. Seems like when a lot is swirling in one's head that it would make sense to write some of it down. I secretly must enjoy the fullness of it because I know once you start writing, that it will start making sense. And that's not always whatya want.
What's happening:
What's happening:
- I am awaiting news of my student visa. Should hear anyday now. My passport and my future living is in flux, waiting for an answer. (Cue finger drumming and watching kettle boil)
- Mark is on the West coast of the US for 10 (!) days.
- Solo living takes some time to get used to
- I am messy
- I am not brushing my teeth at night
- I haven't made the bed
- I am watching too much TV
- I have giant spurts of activity, followed by hours of reading quietly
- I am not eating balanced meals
- I am going to plant flowers this weekend
- I bought a book on the basics of gardening
- And another novel
- And some diet coke
- The pope is sick
- And MOST riveting, I've been working on an Excel worksheet for tracking clients
See -- not remotely interesting. Which is why I have been a bit quiet
. I guess I've been waiting for some news that I could broadcast. I DO appreciate the demands for updates, proving to me that people other than my Mom read this.Readers- are you out there? Tell me what YOU are doing. I need some entertainment and company.
Saturday, 19 March 2005
you know spring is coming when
- the birds are chirping like crazy at 3:00 a.m.
- you see one person in hat, scarf & big coat, and in the next minute, another person in shorts
- suddenly, people are EVERYWHERE
- the night buzzes
- teenagers seem more mischievous
- you feel more mischievous
- planting flowers seems very important thing to do
- you hate all your winter clothes
- your limbs are very, very pale and scared to be exposed outside
- you want to hang clean sheets on the clothes line
- margaritas call to you
- you regret every cookie in the last 4 months and wonder why you didn't make getting REALLY fit your winter project so you would be excited to wear small amounts of clothes instead of dreading it
- Easter bonnets seem cute
- you spot blooms on trees and are totally surprised
- all your windows are filthy
- you sense that the world is not all lost after all
Thursday, 17 March 2005
life insight coaching LIVE, baby
My coaching site is live and well! I am well glad it is Out There and I have a shingle to hang.
I want to publicly thank these fine folks for help in getting it into the world:
1. Mike "Cynical G" Bateman, for his cheery and clever design. Able to take the Network Solutions templates and successfully put lipstick on the pig without complaint.
2. Heather Roberts, for lending her artistic muscle and creative eye to help me with my web photo.
3. Lexie/Lexington/Lexicon Bebbington, for her immediate and enthusiastic feedback on content, images, and her impromptu gender polling of Martin for the male view, and loving support.
4. Barbara Faculjak, my all time favourite editor, always able to make it clean and clear and real within 10 minutes, while driving or on a conference call.
5. Mark Johnston, for endless name brainstorming ideas, for getting excited with and for me, reviewing every step of the way, and bankrolling my domain name and web registration.
6. Friend and Family Network, for encouragement and 'YAY' e-mails, and letting me know what you think.
Now you know a life coach. For whenever you want to work on something. Or know someone who does. Or just want to see what it is about. (and in 6 months the price goes up :-) )
I want to publicly thank these fine folks for help in getting it into the world:
1. Mike "Cynical G" Bateman, for his cheery and clever design. Able to take the Network Solutions templates and successfully put lipstick on the pig without complaint.
2. Heather Roberts, for lending her artistic muscle and creative eye to help me with my web photo.
3. Lexie/Lexington/Lexicon Bebbington, for her immediate and enthusiastic feedback on content, images, and her impromptu gender polling of Martin for the male view, and loving support.
4. Barbara Faculjak, my all time favourite editor, always able to make it clean and clear and real within 10 minutes, while driving or on a conference call.
5. Mark Johnston, for endless name brainstorming ideas, for getting excited with and for me, reviewing every step of the way, and bankrolling my domain name and web registration.
6. Friend and Family Network, for encouragement and 'YAY' e-mails, and letting me know what you think.
Now you know a life coach. For whenever you want to work on something. Or know someone who does. Or just want to see what it is about. (and in 6 months the price goes up :-) )
Tuesday, 15 March 2005
Thursday, 10 March 2005
means to an end
I thought I'd ride a bike here in Cambridge. I had visions of me (with long, flowing hair) pedaling through the streets on a one-speeder with a basket with fresh flowers and a baguette -- sun shining -- perhaps singing and practicing going no-handed. Oh so misguided.
People don't ride their bikes here for sport or pleasure. Is is transportation -- getting to work, the shops, the pub, school. And I have seen death and gravity defying riders -- the mother with one toddler behind, one in front and shopping bags on the handle bars, talking on a cell phone, without breaking stride. No one has helmets on. They aren't wearing sporting clothes. People regularly smoke while riding. Or smoke AND talk on the phone while riding.
It is not like we have all dedicated bike lanes either. Many roads are really not meant for travel in both directions for cars -- and then add bikers on top of that and it is squishy. Lots of bikers. And of course, bikes don't have to obey traffic laws. Everyone knows that. Stop lights are for suckers in the cars.
The bikes are ratty- with Sainsbury bags on the seats because it almost always likely to rain here. They are old and rusty and banged up and it seems they are locked up with shoelaces or not at all. I think of how many friend's bikes have been stolen in DC with heavyduty state-of-the-art locks and wheels taken off and whatnot. Seems like it is no biggie here.
I frankly think I'd be better off learning to DRIVE on the left here than bike. At least then I;d have doors and a roof protecting me. I'll admit it, I am a little chicken. Or maybe since the leisurely wheel down the street is out of the question, I'll just stick to hoofing it. The joy is in the journey, isn't it??
People don't ride their bikes here for sport or pleasure. Is is transportation -- getting to work, the shops, the pub, school. And I have seen death and gravity defying riders -- the mother with one toddler behind, one in front and shopping bags on the handle bars, talking on a cell phone, without breaking stride. No one has helmets on. They aren't wearing sporting clothes. People regularly smoke while riding. Or smoke AND talk on the phone while riding.
It is not like we have all dedicated bike lanes either. Many roads are really not meant for travel in both directions for cars -- and then add bikers on top of that and it is squishy. Lots of bikers. And of course, bikes don't have to obey traffic laws. Everyone knows that. Stop lights are for suckers in the cars.
The bikes are ratty- with Sainsbury bags on the seats because it almost always likely to rain here. They are old and rusty and banged up and it seems they are locked up with shoelaces or not at all. I think of how many friend's bikes have been stolen in DC with heavyduty state-of-the-art locks and wheels taken off and whatnot. Seems like it is no biggie here.
I frankly think I'd be better off learning to DRIVE on the left here than bike. At least then I;d have doors and a roof protecting me. I'll admit it, I am a little chicken. Or maybe since the leisurely wheel down the street is out of the question, I'll just stick to hoofing it. The joy is in the journey, isn't it??
Friday, 4 March 2005
I hate the bus
Now that I 'commute' in Cambridge on the Citi 2 several times a week, I have come to several realisations/realizations.
- I hate the bus
- Every 10 minutes means "very occasionally" especially when you have to pee, it is raining, or cold or if you are in a hurry.
- Some drivers are mean
- Some drivers hum
- Old ladies and young mothers ride the bus a lot
- The crazy/smelly person will always sit next to you if you silently pray "please don't sit next to me"
- Kids are loud
- People have no issue taking up more of the seat then is rightly their share
- Sometimes kids are really cute
- If you are tired of waiting and start walking, the bus will pass you as you try to make it to the next stop.
- They advertise for Women Drivers to be bus drivers here.
- If you get on a very crowded bus after waiting for 30 minutes, 3 empty ones will be right behind it.
- When you are in a hurry, someone gets on the bus and asks the driver many many questions about the bus system.
- You see the same people all the time and they see you and you have an unspoken Bus People relationship
- You learn to walk 3 blocks to get the 25p cheaper fare.
- There are 15x more of the other bus lines on the road than the one you are looking for. "That is the 3rd Number 7 that has gone past in the last 10 minutes and NO number 2s"
- I am not a big fan of the bus
Wednesday, 23 February 2005
on a roll
- skived = played hooked, as in "Mark skived off of work on Wednesday and we watched daytime TV" (totally hypothetical of course)
- having a laugh = you are joking
- revision = reviewing/studying
- private school = public school -- open to everyone -- cheaper
- public school = private, more exclusive (I know, what?)
- A Levels = I can't even explain when you get these, but I know there also used to be 'O' Levels too
- Qualifications = what you leave school with. You need them to really get any job. If you leave school without them, you can pretty much be promised a life of manually crappy jobs and low pay
- chemist= drugstore
- plaster = bandaid
- jacket potato = baked potato (and they put weird things on as toppings, like corn and tuna)
- threw a wobbly = got mad
- porridge = oatmeal
- Hen night = Bachelorette party
- prawns = shrimp. Never see the word shrimp here. Not that I can eat them.
- programme = program
- estate car = station wagon
- overtake = pass
- motorway = expressway/freeway
- roundabout = driving circle, except people know how to navigate them, unlike DuPont Circle
Tuesday, 22 February 2005
Monday, 21 February 2005
how COULD I have forgotten?
So integrated that I have simply swallowed them without notice.
washing up = doing the dishes
washing up liquid - dishwashing soap
kitchen roll= paper towels
cling film = saran wrap
loo = toilet
in a tick = in a mo, in a minute, shortly
postman = mailman
Bob's your uncle = there you are
fancy = like , as in "I fancy a coffee, do you?" Or "she does not fancy him."
washing up = doing the dishes
washing up liquid - dishwashing soap
kitchen roll= paper towels
cling film = saran wrap
loo = toilet
in a tick = in a mo, in a minute, shortly
postman = mailman
Bob's your uncle = there you are
fancy = like , as in "I fancy a coffee, do you?" Or "she does not fancy him."
Sunday, 20 February 2005
more englishisms
- chav = white trash/ghetto cool, but trying too hard. Like too much Burberry with a gold chain or your low riders riding so low people see your thong in full view. Also trucker caps. See J Lo. Also B Spear's hubby
- travelers = not like gypsies, Mark declares, as I try to write "gypsies". People who choose to live in vans and buses on the outskirts of villages and "travel about" when the farmers who own the land kick them off. They do odd jobs and so not participate in regular society. Note: I am fascinated with these people and am constantly asking Mark the difference between the UK homeless, the yobs and the travelers (you know, gypsies) and he is sick of answering questions, so if any of you have any intelligence on the subtle differences, please write in.
- dinner ladies = lunch ladies (even though they call it lunch here)
- Sloane girls = IT girls
- working class= blue collar workers
- leisure center = gym
- nail varnish = nail polish
- fag = ciggie, cigarette
- government artist = people on the dole -- who live on social security (welfare)
- spotted dick = sponge with currents, a.k.a cake with raisins
A correction
- kit= uniform, as opposed to my previous definition of undies. " Get your kit off"
Friday, 18 February 2005
Tuesday, 15 February 2005
course work -- check
I am finished with my class!
I have successfully completed 116 (!) hours of life coaching training. It seems like a big number. And it feels like I was there all of those 116 hours, too. I mean, I was really there. Not like when you take a class for work --- and spend time thinking about lunch or your nails, or noticing how much you'd like to be sleeping.
This was an entirely new experience because I wanted to be there. What we were learning was captivating, engrossing, human, scary, emotional and risk taking. I learned what is possible when I am actually trying, instead of standing on the sidelines and mocking. I can say without irony or sarcasm that it was one of the hardest, challenging, fulfilling things I have done.
I have made new friends and shared this slice of learning with some amazingly brave and smart people. I learned how to be fearless by watching their courage. I learned to be loose by seeing creativity at hand. I learned to be vulnerable by seeing their pain. I went into this series of classes with an open mind and am leaving with a very full one.
What's next? I have signed up for the 6-month certification program, which will build on the skills I learned. At the end of those 6 months I take an exam and then if I pass, I am certified! I need to continue to work with my clients, maybe get a few new ones, and gain hours and keep learning. Soon I will be pushing out my web site, with thanks to the talented Mike Bateman who is helping on design. I will have business cards, marketing materials. A shingle.
Yeah- it is real.
I have successfully completed 116 (!) hours of life coaching training. It seems like a big number. And it feels like I was there all of those 116 hours, too. I mean, I was really there. Not like when you take a class for work --- and spend time thinking about lunch or your nails, or noticing how much you'd like to be sleeping.
This was an entirely new experience because I wanted to be there. What we were learning was captivating, engrossing, human, scary, emotional and risk taking. I learned what is possible when I am actually trying, instead of standing on the sidelines and mocking. I can say without irony or sarcasm that it was one of the hardest, challenging, fulfilling things I have done.
I have made new friends and shared this slice of learning with some amazingly brave and smart people. I learned how to be fearless by watching their courage. I learned to be loose by seeing creativity at hand. I learned to be vulnerable by seeing their pain. I went into this series of classes with an open mind and am leaving with a very full one.
What's next? I have signed up for the 6-month certification program, which will build on the skills I learned. At the end of those 6 months I take an exam and then if I pass, I am certified! I need to continue to work with my clients, maybe get a few new ones, and gain hours and keep learning. Soon I will be pushing out my web site, with thanks to the talented Mike Bateman who is helping on design. I will have business cards, marketing materials. A shingle.
Yeah- it is real.
Tuesday, 8 February 2005
today is Pancake Day. I am not kidding
I have been seeing signs everywhere for Pancake Day. I thought -- "how nice -- like a pancake breakfast for a school or something." But then people at work started talking about it. Wha?
Apparently it is an Actual internationally recognized Day. Jeez -- is February THAT dull that we need to name a day after flapjacks? Well, here it should really be called Crepe Day -- because what they call pancakes are FAR from I-Hop's ideas.
Actually, pancake day's official title is Shrove Tuesday -- hich is the day before Ash Wednesday, the start of Lent. Since Lent is a time of abstinence - traditionally of meat, fat, eggs and dairy products - so Shrove Tuesday was the day to consume the last of the fat, eggs and dairy products in the kitchen prior to this period.
I think this is also the notion behind Fat Tuesday -- although that seems so much more about jazz and public drinking.
For those of you who are as un-enlightened as I was -- read all about the history of Pancake Day. And Shrove Tuesday.
Proving that it really is the tumbleweed season of activity.
Monday, 7 February 2005
check -- not quite mate
News flash - I just played my very first ever game of chess. Yes, the intellectual, thoughtful game of strategy and logic. Yes, all the way through. And yes, without knocking the game to the floor in a pouty swoop because I was losing.
Mark has long been coveting a chess set and broke down and got a really cool one with hand-made pieces. Since his options of players includes, well, me only, he gave me a shot as student.
We broke free from our part-ay hart-ay tradition (Um, the dance club was, um closed?) and took over the living room, fire lit, on our raging Saturday night to play. I even had a scotch to make me feel more gentile and worldly. And smart. We reviewed all the pieces (I like the knights -- the jumpers) and what they can do/how they function on the board/ how to get the other guy's pieces and eventually, get the king. Every move is either to advance or protect. Makes one think before acting. Not a bad axiom for living... I thought...Cool. I took notes. And (god love Mark) before each move, I got to ask my handicap beginner question, "is this a dumb move?" Low and behold -- it almost never was!
Per Mark, he was "genuinely surprised" at my quick study of the chess concept. I think it has a lot to do with the chess piece personalities. The pawns are abundant and you can lose one without caring too much -- the aforementioned knights are cool and can do some damage, the bishops are only so so and have a small range, the castle is also a little limited, the king is basically the least powerful guy on the board, but everyone protects him -- and last but not least -- the queen is the shit. She can go anywhere, in any direction and as far as she wants. Like in life.
Somehow -- this little storyline in my head made the logic seem more like the A List for a party then a studied and sleepy game. Plus, the scotch really IS the perfect companion. Slow sippers.
The next challenge -- configuring 3-letter words besides C-A-T in a rousing match of spelling and wit in Scrabble.
This, people, is what life coaching can get ya.
Mark has long been coveting a chess set and broke down and got a really cool one with hand-made pieces. Since his options of players includes, well, me only, he gave me a shot as student.
We broke free from our part-ay hart-ay tradition (Um, the dance club was, um closed?) and took over the living room, fire lit, on our raging Saturday night to play. I even had a scotch to make me feel more gentile and worldly. And smart. We reviewed all the pieces (I like the knights -- the jumpers) and what they can do/how they function on the board/ how to get the other guy's pieces and eventually, get the king. Every move is either to advance or protect. Makes one think before acting. Not a bad axiom for living... I thought...Cool. I took notes. And (god love Mark) before each move, I got to ask my handicap beginner question, "is this a dumb move?" Low and behold -- it almost never was!
Per Mark, he was "genuinely surprised" at my quick study of the chess concept. I think it has a lot to do with the chess piece personalities. The pawns are abundant and you can lose one without caring too much -- the aforementioned knights are cool and can do some damage, the bishops are only so so and have a small range, the castle is also a little limited, the king is basically the least powerful guy on the board, but everyone protects him -- and last but not least -- the queen is the shit. She can go anywhere, in any direction and as far as she wants. Like in life.
Somehow -- this little storyline in my head made the logic seem more like the A List for a party then a studied and sleepy game. Plus, the scotch really IS the perfect companion. Slow sippers.
The next challenge -- configuring 3-letter words besides C-A-T in a rousing match of spelling and wit in Scrabble.
This, people, is what life coaching can get ya.
Tuesday, 1 February 2005
more
yob = rowdy drunkard, also lager lout
poorly = sick, as in "I am going home, I feel poorly"
weekEND = WEEKend -- just a cultural emphasis, "Any plans for the weekEND?"
nipper = little kid
ta/cheers = means all and any of these: thanks, bye, see you later, good for you, yay
pensioner = senior citizen/retiree
kit = undies
petrol = gas
doner kebab = gyro
trainers = tennis shoes
pants = undies (Never tell someone you like their pants)
trousers = pants
go on my son = you go girl
footie = football, a.k.a soccer
lurgie = short for allergy, as in "I am home poorly with the lurgie"
poorly = sick, as in "I am going home, I feel poorly"
weekEND = WEEKend -- just a cultural emphasis, "Any plans for the weekEND?"
nipper = little kid
ta/cheers = means all and any of these: thanks, bye, see you later, good for you, yay
pensioner = senior citizen/retiree
kit = undies
petrol = gas
doner kebab = gyro
trainers = tennis shoes
pants = undies (Never tell someone you like their pants)
trousers = pants
go on my son = you go girl
footie = football, a.k.a soccer
lurgie = short for allergy, as in "I am home poorly with the lurgie"
Monday, 31 January 2005
37
Day 2 of being 37 and so far, so good.
I am determined not to fall into the February funk. I know that a lot of people go into a post-holiday slump after all the hoopla of Christmas and New Years. But me, I like to delay it until after my January birthday. After all, I usually get gifts in January, so not all is lost yet. But once February hits, it is a long 11 months until a fairly guaranteed present season comes again.
Yes, I know I sound like a 9-year old.
Old habits die hard. AND, I said I was determined not to fall into it. Plus, I got some excellent gratification today at the Boots chemist -- a.k.a the kick ass drug store -- with my gift card from Mark (part of my present) and went hog-wild at the Lancome counter. Like a pig in mud. Nothing like some new under-eye concealer to make a gal feel zippy. And heck, even make me feel 36 again. Or 9.
I am determined not to fall into the February funk. I know that a lot of people go into a post-holiday slump after all the hoopla of Christmas and New Years. But me, I like to delay it until after my January birthday. After all, I usually get gifts in January, so not all is lost yet. But once February hits, it is a long 11 months until a fairly guaranteed present season comes again.
Yes, I know I sound like a 9-year old.
Old habits die hard. AND, I said I was determined not to fall into it. Plus, I got some excellent gratification today at the Boots chemist -- a.k.a the kick ass drug store -- with my gift card from Mark (part of my present) and went hog-wild at the Lancome counter. Like a pig in mud. Nothing like some new under-eye concealer to make a gal feel zippy. And heck, even make me feel 36 again. Or 9.
Friday, 28 January 2005
Tuesday, 18 January 2005
not madonna yet, but ...
I was riding on the bus home from my receptionist job yesterday and was over-hearing/eavesdropping on a conversation between strangers about one of the passenger's adorable toddler and heard her say "he has been 'winge-ing' all day."
Without question, I knew exactly what she meant. I've cracked the vernacular. Made me think of all the things I have adopted into my everyday vocabulary to be understood.
winge-ing=whining
tomAHto = tomato
on a course= taking a class
what are you on about = what are you talking about
never mind = oh well
queue = line
maths = math
daft = dumb
prat = jerk
take away = to go
pavement = sidewalk
have a go = pick a fight
ring you = call you
any joy? = any luck?
white coffee = coffee with milk (and if you order 'coffee with milk' they look at you very confused)
is that Susie? (as said on the phone) = is this Susie?
Mo-Bile = cell phone
lovely = nice/great
elevensies = that nice snack you eat at 11 a.m.
con TRO versy = controversy
pavement = sidewalk
answer phone = answering machine
windscreen = windshield
supermarket = grocery store (they never say grocery store unless they mean like a pure green grocer where one buys veggies)
post = mail (as in "has the post come yet?")
car park = parking lot
book = rent or reserve (as in "Have you booked the car/hotel/restaurant")
lounge = living room
garden = yard
hob = stove
biscuit = cookies or crackers
pudding/sweet = dessert of any nature
brown bread = wheat or any kind of non -white bread
partner = boy or girlfriend or husband or wife of hetro or homo
Without question, I knew exactly what she meant. I've cracked the vernacular. Made me think of all the things I have adopted into my everyday vocabulary to be understood.
winge-ing=whining
tomAHto = tomato
on a course= taking a class
what are you on about = what are you talking about
never mind = oh well
queue = line
maths = math
daft = dumb
prat = jerk
take away = to go
pavement = sidewalk
have a go = pick a fight
ring you = call you
any joy? = any luck?
white coffee = coffee with milk (and if you order 'coffee with milk' they look at you very confused)
is that Susie? (as said on the phone) = is this Susie?
Mo-Bile = cell phone
lovely = nice/great
elevensies = that nice snack you eat at 11 a.m.
con TRO versy = controversy
pavement = sidewalk
answer phone = answering machine
windscreen = windshield
supermarket = grocery store (they never say grocery store unless they mean like a pure green grocer where one buys veggies)
post = mail (as in "has the post come yet?")
car park = parking lot
book = rent or reserve (as in "Have you booked the car/hotel/restaurant")
lounge = living room
garden = yard
hob = stove
biscuit = cookies or crackers
pudding/sweet = dessert of any nature
brown bread = wheat or any kind of non -white bread
partner = boy or girlfriend or husband or wife of hetro or homo
Monday, 17 January 2005
in PROcess
I've just come off my 2nd last coaching course, called Process. They call it PROcess here and after hearing it 876 times in the last 3 days, I am now saying PROcess too and not feeling entirely queer. A friend from class (God love her) in my class said I had a "very nice American tone", which I accept as the highest compliment.
I feel that this weekend added a really big piece of the puzzle that has been missing in my coaching. Now that it is in place, the whole picture looks different. Better. Bigger.
It may sound simple, but the principle is - That which you cannot be with will run your life. Meaning, if you cannot STAND, change the channel, avoid, despise, run from something, you really have that part in you that you are not accepting. It is sadness. Or disappointment. Or rejection. Or loss. Or fear. Or worthlessness. Or a million other things.
The trick/key is to be with it. Look at it. Name it. Feel it. Talk of it.
And it is hard. And messy. And uncomfortable. But once you do it, you can actually include it in your life. You may not ever like it or feel comfortable with it, but you won't cut out huge areas of topics/ideas/states of mind. It just Is. It becomes part of the whole life without judgment. One you stop avoiding the feeling, you can have a remarkable new sense of yourself.
It is like when I was a kid I was so afraid of tornados that I stopped listening to the radio in case they gave a weather report. And those of you know like to kid me about 'night clouds' vs. storm clouds. I wouldn' t even mention it -- but just go around the house closing windows and putting on sweaters. As if that made me safer. And as if I 'wanted' to play in the basement. It didn't. And I wasn't. But the fear was a part of me.
Now for any of you who thing that sounds airy-fairy, think of what you go out of your way to avoid. Night clouds? Or something that costs you much more.
I feel that this weekend added a really big piece of the puzzle that has been missing in my coaching. Now that it is in place, the whole picture looks different. Better. Bigger.
It may sound simple, but the principle is - That which you cannot be with will run your life. Meaning, if you cannot STAND, change the channel, avoid, despise, run from something, you really have that part in you that you are not accepting. It is sadness. Or disappointment. Or rejection. Or loss. Or fear. Or worthlessness. Or a million other things.
The trick/key is to be with it. Look at it. Name it. Feel it. Talk of it.
And it is hard. And messy. And uncomfortable. But once you do it, you can actually include it in your life. You may not ever like it or feel comfortable with it, but you won't cut out huge areas of topics/ideas/states of mind. It just Is. It becomes part of the whole life without judgment. One you stop avoiding the feeling, you can have a remarkable new sense of yourself.
It is like when I was a kid I was so afraid of tornados that I stopped listening to the radio in case they gave a weather report. And those of you know like to kid me about 'night clouds' vs. storm clouds. I wouldn' t even mention it -- but just go around the house closing windows and putting on sweaters. As if that made me safer. And as if I 'wanted' to play in the basement. It didn't. And I wasn't. But the fear was a part of me.
Now for any of you who thing that sounds airy-fairy, think of what you go out of your way to avoid. Night clouds? Or something that costs you much more.
Wednesday, 5 January 2005
better
When does the blog stop being an entertaining tale of travel and folly and start sounding like a 'Christmas letter' inserted into a holiday card? "I did this and that and went here and there and saw that thing and the other thing ..."
When does the blogger stop making insightful, detached and pithy observations of the world, and use the medium as a mass update to friends and family?
Readers, I feel as if my last few months have been lazy bloggage. (Yes, a new word I just made up.) I am not a big fan of the New Year's resolution. It pretty much sets me up to fail. It is like a giant invitation to go ahead and do that thing I am not supposed to do, eat, say, feel, etc. I do, however, believe in trying to do things better... trying to be more engaged in what one is doing. Not just phoning it in.
And as a life coach it is kinda the thing I preach -- in the be all that you can be way -- so I am going to work on the practice part of the preaching. I want to be a better blogger. I want to be a better friend. I want to be a better daughter. I want to be a better sister. I want to be a better girlfriend. I want to be a better coach. And I want to be a better Carol.
No resolutions. Just intentions to be better. It is a looser cloak of resolve. And chances are that in many ways, I'll screw it up. Just like humans do (me especially). But the gold nugget is that it is ok to screw it up. Because it doesn't take a new calendar to allow me to make a fresh start. Just a new page in my head.
Happy blank slate everyone.
When does the blogger stop making insightful, detached and pithy observations of the world, and use the medium as a mass update to friends and family?
Readers, I feel as if my last few months have been lazy bloggage. (Yes, a new word I just made up.) I am not a big fan of the New Year's resolution. It pretty much sets me up to fail. It is like a giant invitation to go ahead and do that thing I am not supposed to do, eat, say, feel, etc. I do, however, believe in trying to do things better... trying to be more engaged in what one is doing. Not just phoning it in.
And as a life coach it is kinda the thing I preach -- in the be all that you can be way -- so I am going to work on the practice part of the preaching. I want to be a better blogger. I want to be a better friend. I want to be a better daughter. I want to be a better sister. I want to be a better girlfriend. I want to be a better coach. And I want to be a better Carol.
No resolutions. Just intentions to be better. It is a looser cloak of resolve. And chances are that in many ways, I'll screw it up. Just like humans do (me especially). But the gold nugget is that it is ok to screw it up. Because it doesn't take a new calendar to allow me to make a fresh start. Just a new page in my head.
Happy blank slate everyone.
Tuesday, 28 December 2004
Wednesday, 22 December 2004
Carol's 2004 greatest hits
- My pierced nose
- Lightening the load
- A UK address and phone number
- Buying meat from a butcher
- Calling myself a life coach and meaning it
- My un-pierced nose
- Pleasure of un-hurried cooking
- Finding kindred spirits and warm hearts in class
- Every day and every night with my man
- Feeling support both near and far
- Not having to get up with an alarm
- Life with a dishwasher and washer/dryer
- The blurry line between fear and excitement
- Being awake
Thank you for being part of my spectacular year.
Monday, 20 December 2004
Tuesday, 14 December 2004
weird to be an immigrant
I have had my head down and running into UK red tape. Is weird to set one's self up in a new country. They have zero records of you -- for things like getting a bank account and applying for a credit card. I have also had some fun getting the UK version of a social security card -- a national insurance number. I really will not try to entertain you with the story, it was irritating even to live through. Let's just say, I have paid a visit to my friendly neighboring town, Petersborough's Immigration Advisory Council. Is weird to be an immigrant. Enlightening and kind of a pain in the arse.
I started my part-time job and am thrilled that I am excellent without exerting any brain energy. Nothing like being grossly over qualified to make a girl feel like she is consistently exceeding expectations. (May I tell him who is calling? Can I offer you something to drink? Sure, I'll book that conference room for you. Post this in the mail? No problem!) All the while, I can work on my web content, write out my xmas cards and putter about on the internet. Ahhh, and for only 2 days a week. Dreamy.
Finished my 3rd round of courses. Amazing stuff. During the course, we coach each other to practice and learn the methods and man-oh-man, let's just say, stuff shows up. It is really powerful to experience what coaching can get to the bottom of and can peel back the onion layers of a person. My classmates & I are all becoming close and really learning to walk our talk. By having this first hand experience as clients, we can speak emphatically and witness and experience serious personal growth.
Also doing some socializing with the class people -- which is manna for a socially starving person. Is reassuring that I can make friends here, and it wasn't just a fluke back home.
Looking forward to a UK Christmas -- in London. What a festive city! Each street has its own theme of lights and colors and the sidewalks (called pavement here) are teeming with shoppers and humanity. Almost makes any scrooge take a hike. The store windows are fabulous -- with fashions and shiny objects that entice me to press my face close and dream of a time I'll make an income and can buy gifts again. We'll be having Christmas luncheon in our swanky hotel -- and I am to expect a traditional feast. Not sure if that means figgy pudding or the goose that was getting fat during that "Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat ..." song. I am sure it will be heavy, calorie-filled, and worth the elastic waist pants.
Happy pre Christmas -- hope people are not too manic and making themselves crazy. Being away makes me remember how nice it can be to want a Christmas tree and snow to mark the season.
I started my part-time job and am thrilled that I am excellent without exerting any brain energy. Nothing like being grossly over qualified to make a girl feel like she is consistently exceeding expectations. (May I tell him who is calling? Can I offer you something to drink? Sure, I'll book that conference room for you. Post this in the mail? No problem!) All the while, I can work on my web content, write out my xmas cards and putter about on the internet. Ahhh, and for only 2 days a week. Dreamy.
Finished my 3rd round of courses. Amazing stuff. During the course, we coach each other to practice and learn the methods and man-oh-man, let's just say, stuff shows up. It is really powerful to experience what coaching can get to the bottom of and can peel back the onion layers of a person. My classmates & I are all becoming close and really learning to walk our talk. By having this first hand experience as clients, we can speak emphatically and witness and experience serious personal growth.
Also doing some socializing with the class people -- which is manna for a socially starving person. Is reassuring that I can make friends here, and it wasn't just a fluke back home.
Looking forward to a UK Christmas -- in London. What a festive city! Each street has its own theme of lights and colors and the sidewalks (called pavement here) are teeming with shoppers and humanity. Almost makes any scrooge take a hike. The store windows are fabulous -- with fashions and shiny objects that entice me to press my face close and dream of a time I'll make an income and can buy gifts again. We'll be having Christmas luncheon in our swanky hotel -- and I am to expect a traditional feast. Not sure if that means figgy pudding or the goose that was getting fat during that "Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat ..." song. I am sure it will be heavy, calorie-filled, and worth the elastic waist pants.
Happy pre Christmas -- hope people are not too manic and making themselves crazy. Being away makes me remember how nice it can be to want a Christmas tree and snow to mark the season.
Wednesday, 1 December 2004
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