Tuesday 26 January 2010
- stop carrying a purse... wearing only coats with big (stuffed) pockets
- taking ownership of eye gunk, stray boogies and the general picking at baby's face
- rely on soothers ( pacifiers, binkies, dummys - whateveryouwanttocallem) to, um, soothe my baby
- insure I have extra soother in the big pockets at all times
- gage my walking distance by if I need the nappy bag
- turn down invitations to a night time art opening because it conflicts with (my) the baby's bedtime
- walk the baby in his pram endlessly so he gets a good nap, even if I am bedraggled and it is raining
- let baby watch Baby TV (yes this exists)
- question my choices and want to run away -- for at least 10 minutes
- imagine baby will be a pianist/genius/president/artist/ etc. because of some perceived acute awareness of hands/light/faces/colour, etc.
Monday 18 January 2010
First of all, can I just say how much I miss having time to write in my blog?
Sometimes, as I lie in bed for the 20 minutes I am trying to fall asleep IMMEDIATELY after Lewis does to take full advantage of maximum sleep hours, I think of things I am dealing with, enjoying, noticing about me, the world, etc ...
All very blog worthy and yet I find about 12 minutes a day when I am not feeding, (which to be fair sometimes gives me a one handed computer access which I waste on Facebook), burping, soothing, changing, or otherwise futzing with the boy.
I really admire the Moms who write. Moms with little ones. How do they do it? Check out the blogs I follow and you'll find really funny, clever and well written stuff by busy people.
So I have these thoughts and then they go ... away ... as the days tick off and the calendar turns.
But here is one notion that stuck and I was determined to use part of my 12 minutes to capture it.
In Leadership we often started the day with one word intentions .. something we would hang our hats on for the day. It was how we wanted to be, show up or create.
And I have come up with the intention that captures this period of time for me.
I can't blog like I used to. Or read. Or watch TV. Or talk to friends. Or stay out past 7. Or drink. Or do so many things. And when I try, I end up frustrated. Things are interrupted. Baby cries. Needs attention. Constantly.
Yet, when I surrender to this new way of life and redirect my attentions and energies and tune into my newborn baby, it flows. We laugh and smile and coo. And cry and sleep. I match his energy rather than force my own on him and it works much much better. I give up trying to do all the things I did before. But I am getting something new.
He will only ever be this age once. I will only ever be a first time mother of a newborn once. His head will only smell this sweet for a limited time. Surrendering to the moment and savouring a bit brings me really really present to this weird altered and mostly very very lovely time.
And I am rewarded with the occasional 12 minutes of time to reflect. Or brush my teeth. Or make a sandwich. Or maybe even write.
So if I am not blogging, know it is because I have stopped. I have surrendered.
And I am probably on Facebook. With one hand.
But I'll be smelling the delicious baby while I am at it.
Tuesday 5 January 2010
After 1 and a half years, somewhere along the line, Glasgow has suddenly become home.
I was mighty resistant after living in picturesque Edinburgh with our homey/handy neighbourhood, wine shop 20 feet from our front door, good friends 5 minutes down Broughton Street, bus lines aplenty, award winning butcher, John Lewis and a movie theater top of the street, friendly and fantastic hairdresser 2 doors down.
Glasgow was big. Grittier. Less convenient. I couldn't (still can't) figure out the buses. We had to walk further to get supplies. And we knew bugger all people. Felt isolating in our big beautiful 2nd floor flat.
Slowly, I found my way. I found my stockists. Where to buy the best bread, who made the best coffees and cakes, who sold local organic eggs. I became a regular. I am on friendly "how are you/nice to see you" terms with many of my local shopkeepers ... even know some by name!
We love our doctors and health visitors. Our pharmacist is a gentle lovely guy. Our NHS dentist 5 minutes away and friendly. I love my yoga and acupuncture place. We are frequent visitors to the cafes and the park. We take pleasure in knowing what's new in the hood.
We walk. EVERYWHERE.
Maybe it is because we have a son now. People on the street smile and coo. (how could you not?) We found kindred friends with babies. We are suddenly part of the community.
It snuck up on me when I wasn't looking. The odd bits of life have collected and glued together.
I feel at home. And it feels remarkable.