intentions

First of all, can I just say how much I miss having time to write in my blog?

Sometimes, as I lie in bed for the 20 minutes I am trying to fall asleep IMMEDIATELY after Lewis does to take full advantage of maximum sleep hours, I think of things I am dealing with, enjoying, noticing about me, the world, etc ...

All very blog worthy and yet I find about 12 minutes a day when I am not feeding, (which to be fair sometimes gives me a one handed computer access which I waste on Facebook), burping, soothing, changing, or otherwise futzing with the boy.

I really admire the Moms who write. Moms with little ones. How do they do it? Check out the blogs I follow and you'll find really funny, clever and well written stuff by busy people.

So I have these thoughts and then they go ... away ... as the days tick off and the calendar turns.

But here is one notion that stuck and I was determined to use part of my 12 minutes to capture it.

In Leadership we often started the day with one word intentions .. something we would hang our hats on for the day. It was how we wanted to be, show up or create.

And I have come up with the intention that captures this period of time for me.

Surrender.

I can't blog like I used to. Or read. Or watch TV. Or talk to friends. Or stay out past 7. Or drink. Or do so many things. And when I try, I end up frustrated. Things are interrupted. Baby cries. Needs attention. Constantly.

Yet, when I surrender to this new way of life and redirect my attentions and energies and tune into my newborn baby, it flows. We laugh and smile and coo. And cry and sleep. I match his energy rather than force my own on him and it works much much better. I give up trying to do all the things I did before. But I am getting something new.

He will only ever be this age once. I will only ever be a first time mother of a newborn once. His head will only smell this sweet for a limited time. Surrendering to the moment and savouring a bit brings me really really present to this weird altered and mostly very very lovely time.

And I am rewarded with the occasional 12 minutes of time to reflect. Or brush my teeth. Or make a sandwich. Or maybe even write.

So if I am not blogging, know it is because I have stopped. I have surrendered.

And I am probably on Facebook. With one hand.

But I'll be smelling the delicious baby while I am at it.

prepare yee

When I was in Leadership, Karen Kimsey House said something that really stuck with me. (Well, she said many things that stuck, but this one is germane to this here.)

Planning is often pointless -- things rarely go the way you anticipate. But what you can do is prepare. Prepare and dance with whatever shows up.

This has become my mantra and outlook on birth. I am preparing. Preparing the room, preparing my body, preparing the *stuff*, preparing the rest of my life to slow down, preparing help, preparing my energy levels. Doing what I can do.

I don't know how this boy will come into the world. I have thoroughly thought about the preferences on how I'd LIKE it to go. I've outlined my preferences. And at the end of the day, I have to allow what is going to happen to happen. The truest definition of dancing in the moment I can think of.

I have been getting a lot of Leadership lessons flashing into this experience. Asking for help. Trusting my body. Leaning in 100% to Mark, to my child, my body. Operating with intention. Not getting hung up on the particles (oh so hard not to do) and keeping my stake really clear. Creating space in the level 3. And a bit of failing, recovering and staying.

Who knew all those lessons from last year would come in such waves for me now. I think of the ropes courses we did and I know I can trust my body to deliver what it needs to. To tap into inner wisdom. I have my belay team. They have my rope. And I have me.

Something else Karen said also keeps going through my mind.

There will be a time to get nervous and it isn't yet. I'll let you know when.

Kinder words could not be spoken at the time of serious nerves and fear.

And taking that lesson to heart, I am just not going to get nervous yet.

Lewis will tell me when. And I can tell he is already a pretty smart kid.

R4

And yes. I am back from the final retreat for Leadership.
And yes, here's my initial greatest hits for the week.
Expect the impact to come!

• holding multiple screens


• popcorn ... doritos ... cheetos ... twizzlers ... hummus TOSS


• the feast of our quests


• passing the baton


• of course


• creating the colour/intended impact


• silence serving
  


• claim new territory and aliveness
  


• Porcupine Launch Party


• reading the level 3


• Ain't No Mountain High Enough


• Point the conversation


• Gather and gather and gather all the FEAR ... AND STEP


• stake as leader


• Big L leader


• dance in the paradox between action and learning


• raise the bar


• if you aren't stepping through fear you are at small L leadership


• love letters
  


• be orange to create green


• scavenger hunt in the real world


• elders


• if you know how it looks you are following


• celebrate and inspire


• R Fourians
  


• when not on stake you are dying a little


• love tunnel
  


• the grandfather tree (with the sprites)


• change the conversation from fear to possibility
  


• beacons of light


• what takes you out of the model?


• sleevies
  


• locking in the learning for R1, R2, R3 and R4
  


• accountability partners


• when at level 1, you have no stake


• bringing the light
  


• dire consequences


• the keys to our leadership
  


• Pat and Jennifer stepping into coffee and breakfast leadership


• Julie Andrews point


• driving up the mountain


• intention for the tribe


• move from learner to practitioner
  


• falling off and on the model
  


• what's next for me as a leader?
  


• Porcupine flag


• leaving 'launched'


• molecules grounded
  

my alter ego

(Or so sez my oh-so-reliable Facebook quiz)

So you may be a little bossy but its only because you lack the control of your awesome leadership abilities. You love to be right and clean. You are pretty and know it and some times it can get to your head but you are faithful and consistent every time. Some may say your crabby and mean and this may be something you wish to work on in the future.

Oh how true ...

a lot of pacing

So I have been kinda absent from here. 

I blame many things.

1. facebook and its damned easily accessible, updateable and addictive status updates
2. laziness
3. restlessness
4. too much to say
5. nothing to say
6. inertia
7. silence
8. play
9. distraction

And now it is time to pull the finger out so to speak.  Tomorrow I start the Glasgow LIFE CLUB. (Insert wild applause here)

I am excited and nervous and also again excited. It is putting my money where my mouth has been for a while and I am thrilled to be actually walking the talk a bit more.

So, here is where I put my intention for myself and for the group.

I really want to show up 100% fully me.  I want transparency and full permission to try stuff and fail and stay.  It is my leadership stake.  

I want to create a safe, fun and easy space where people can take their brain off and stay a while.  And have a rest from the pace and masks they wear in the 'real' world and get to just breathe and take the time to ponder what they want more of.  And along they way, they get to meet other kind folks in their similar boat. I want them to come away with possibilities of what life can be. 

Now to get all my particles in a row. And decide what to wear!

R3

Dear readers, 

A caveat - this posting will only make sense to my fellow porcupines.

I find R3 the least explainable and the most altering. 

• the Doh room remaining the Deer rooms (and all was well)
• bury your weapons
• the fragrant orange liquid 
• Mother Tree send off
• Lisa/Andy meals to fortify and savour
• marbles/balls/web
• Kenry
• when does something become nothing and nothing become something
• Open Mike
• silence
• floating hands
• blankets in nature
• being with
• unintended and intended impact
• reading the level 3
• Shooting Stars - the pod and  up in the sky
• hearts cracking
• hearts shattering
• feedback that serves
• molecules reordered
• focusing on the space not trying to avoid the particles
• Unconditional Positive Regard UPR
• Interact with the divinity and leave space for the Junk
• tantrum yoga
• the new myth
• tacking - always failing in the direction you are going
• bio directional
• arcus interuuptus, arcus prolongus and arcus justrightus
• Charm Training Institute- the new CTI
• rule of 3s
• Take the Room
• quest
• responsible for your impact

• what will serve the space?
• exploring the range
• soul type 8
• 9 gold metals
• and yes, the shit in the pool!

Living on purpose- the workshop!

I am thrilled to be doing my first workshop... in part and parcel with my Co Active Leadership program!

I am going to Alma Mater Madison in August to give a 1/2 day workshop on Living Your Purpose with my co-leader coach Hanna Cooper from Minneapolis.

The workshop is going to be cool -- it is all about connecting to one's own bigger picture. I totally believe in it and do this with my clients regularly.  AND, it is also an excellent chance to practice the good stuff I am learning at Leadership.  

So if you know anyone in the Madison area- tell one tell all!

getting started for Glasgow

Click here to check out
The Glasgow Life Club meet up!

Start your engines. I am going to training in July and will look to set her up for September! Starting a Life Club is also going to be my Leadership project, so am going to give it really my all. I am excited! Also thrilled to be in good company with Lex and Lister as my colleagues!

20 ways

Indeed, I have completed my homework for Retreat 1.

And I BRAVELY share it here. I needed to list 20 ways I could manifest or express my purpose. They could be anything -- things I may do tomorrow or things I never do, but the goal was to get aligned to what feels fun, exciting and floats my boat.

Don't be alarmed if you are named in this and have not been informed.

My purpose is to compassionately refuse to let you hide your true, magical, human self. I get to the heart of the matter and the heart of what matters.

1. Become weight loss/wellness leader for Weight Watchers/ Slimming World

2. Interview my parents and siblings for living history project

3. Learn shiatsu

4. Affiliate with Aveda in the UK; coaching/wellness

5. Use Charming Gardener blog to nurture friend community, make interactive postings, request submissions to share stuff

6. Train to be Aveda esthetician

7. Create Rotating Supper Club with friends

8. Create Friendship Slut type program in UK

9. Host Philo Clubs

10. Take improv classes to work on my humour timing

11. Write letters to all the people I love telling them all the things I love about them.

12. Create PJ Program – to encourage people to be real and relaxed

13. Write and submit slice of life articles to Psychologies, Choice and local magazines

14. Set up Life Club in Glasgow

15. Co-author friendship book with Lexie

16. Try out for CTI UK front-of-room leader

17. Partner with like-minded coaches to bring coaching into workplace in a fun and non-stuffy way

18. Create coaching niche to work with and in conjunction with healing industry- massage, acupuncture, wellness, yoga

19. Participate in Toastmasters/Storytelling program

20. Create line of greeting cards that get to inner goo and expresses things in a unique and real way

21. Partner with Mary J to create Infinite Good gear – cards, t-shirts, totes and sell online

living on purpose

It has been a while since I actually wrote anything here that was more than news.  I feel a bit bad about that.  I feel like I have been hiding in the shadows and letting Life Maintenance  take center stage over other things. 

For my leadership course, we work off the premise of our life purpose, which  may sound grand and weird but in the coaching world is actually very normal and actually makes sense. 

Like- think about it .. What are you here on this earth to do?  What do you absolutely in your guts KNOW about yourself that makes you feel alive, real, awake and excited?  THAT is your purpose.  And you also know when you are living according and honouring it and you SO know when you are far far away from it.  (See Fannie Mae years for me)

When you are living On Purpose, you feel really pretty damn good. You have an aim and you are in a great flow of connection to yourself. It is nice. And one of the things I am working on is getting really clear on just what my purpose is.  It is hard to get the words to describe it. 

It is something to do with:

• Deep permission for  people to be their true authentic, messy, wonderful selves and to be in relationship with them
• Being the Radar to sense what is going on Really with people -- in themselves and in a group
  
• Wanting everyone to be seen in a Deep Democracy 
• It is to compassionately refuse to let them play small. I hold them to be bigger
  
• I want to get to the heart of the matter -- whatever the situation and the heart of WHAT matters most to people
  
• Seeing and loving the inner goo that makes people unique and who they are in their soul

See what I mean? I really love to be with people who are being their best selves, and to recognise and be real with what is not perfect and to be accepting of that. 

So I am playing with that all. As well as my leadership type -- a humour -- who plays with the space and can shift it.  And I want all of the above to be done lightly and with love and easiness and humour. 

So now I must make a list of the 20 ways I can manifest that purpose (when I can get it culled down to its essence and a sentence that 'works' for me!) and eventually to make that list things I will DO.

So I am not going to agonize over whether  this makes sense to anyone else just now.  But at the end of the day  I really want to translate all this so it makes sense to the people of my life and the people 'out there' so they too can get this cool connected space. 

Dear readers - whadda ya think??

climb on

30 feet into the air, many lessons to learn.

Stay in your body
Breathe
Trust your body
If you fall (I did on step 8), stop, recover, get up and return.
Keep going

Source and support everyone else who needs you

Be amazed in what you can do

Be grateful 

Mother Tree

Ho

Wow

Trip is almost over. In the San Fran hotel, with a loooooong flight back to the UK today.

And I am not really even sure I can process all the big bigness that I got out of the last week of my trip.  But as I do, I want to share it here.

No sleeping outside. No running naked in the woods. But some of it was just as challenging both mentally and psychically. 

I am looking forward to the debrief so stay tuned.