Thursday 23 October 2008

Notes from the universe

My friend Chole forwarded this note she got from "the Universe"

You can imagine how jealous I was.  After all,  it seems so friendly and direct to get a note from the universe -- instead of my usual vague inference of what you think the universe is telling you. Here in black and white -- actual messages!

So naturally I looked into how I could get in on the deal.  

Indeed, Notes from the Universe is the invention of Mike Dooley, Adventurer and Founder of , (Totally Unique Thoughts).  His motto is "Thoughts become things -- make sure they are good ones."  Not a bad notion. 

And when you sign up for the email list, they ask you to take The Oath.  Which given present circumstances (or ANY circumstances) seems to be a pretty smart thing to take on.

Indeed, I pledge YES.

Wednesday 22 October 2008

living with uncertainty

I know about control freakery. 

Planning in your head how things "will" go.  And when they don't (which of course they don't) it rocks the core of one's being.  I very much used to live in that awful reality.  Which is not a very easy place to live.  It is uncompromising and rigid. And really not all that practical. 

And over the last 10 years I have had so much practice in letting some of that go.  Of being with what is. Of being with what unexpected surprise shows up. And of being with not knowing.

I look back to the DC days when we lived with the continual and cyclical threat of Mark's having to return to the UK.  Every 6 months for about 3 years we worried and hand wrung.  It absolutely forced me/us to appreciate Today.  Now. This Moment. And This One. And This... 

I have learned to enjoy Not Knowing What's Next.  Hey- life's an adventure, right? And Door Number 3 might be the best one yet!   How exciting! 

I took the leap to leave the comfort of comforts and the constraints of my same same same for 10 years life in DC for 1000% Not Knowing.   Country. Relationship. New Career. And WOW, the gifts that keep on giving on that one. 

We sat through Not Knowing about Mark's BT redundancy.  For months! 

We moved 3 times - each to an entirely new city and even to another country.  Not Knowing.

And in coaching -- myself, others, leadership - - I have really learned that one can prepare - but never *Plan*. (thank you for that lesson, Karen Kimsey House).  It doesn't allow for other stuff to show up.  The unexpected. The rich. The whatever is there. It is a bit of the create from nothing stuff.  It is truth of the moment. 

And now we are again in the pot stewing. What will happen with Mark's job...

Haven't I been practicing? Haven't I gotten the lesson of being loose and waiting for the gift and appreciating the moment of today?  

I wonder what I haven't quite let go of.  What's new here for me to absorb and get.
Because after all those lessons, I was really pretty excited for a little chance to be certain. To Know. And to Plan.  

The world at large feels like they are waiting on tenterhooks with me. (Which I recently learned is not spelled tenderhooks -- which actually feels more appropriate and true to scale.) 

Economies gone a flooey.  Markets utterly turned upside down. Rugs swept from under thousands of feet. 

Lot of uncertainty.  

Yet we wake, we eat, we work, we love, we shop, we plan.  We carry on. 

Not Knowing. 

And what I am now resting my head on are things I am certain about.  And I am finding great comfort in that. 

Saturday 18 October 2008

charmed in Plockton

Just back from 3 days away up in the real highlands... and stayed in quintessentially charming small hamlet called Plockton, which is (apparently) famous for filming Hamish Macbeth

Very friendly, stunning beauty, colourful locals and delicious food.  We took a boat trip to see seals, drove through parts of Syke, ate like kings with all the extremely local fish, and took a brisk 5 mile walk which got us soaked.  

An important reminder to breathe and be lost in nature and in each other's good company.

Sunday 12 October 2008

my alter ego

(Or so sez my oh-so-reliable Facebook quiz)

So you may be a little bossy but its only because you lack the control of your awesome leadership abilities. You love to be right and clean. You are pretty and know it and some times it can get to your head but you are faithful and consistent every time. Some may say your crabby and mean and this may be something you wish to work on in the future.

Oh how true ...

Monday 6 October 2008

a day out in Largs

Largs- it feels like it is missing a syllable in its name.   (Largstown? Largston? Largshire?)

But we took a wee train trip there Sunday to celebrate the miracle of All Day Sunshine in the west of Scotland. Small town custom built for kids playing, dogs running, couples and old people strolling, ice cream licking, and sea gazing.  It is amazing that in a little over an hour's time out of Glasgow, you can be in a very un-urban world.  Is reassuring.  

Saturday 4 October 2008

Four years

I just looked at the calendar. Four years ago to the DAY I arrived in the UK.

I remember with painful clarity my harrowed plea at the immigration desk at Heathrow.
My whole life was ahead of me. The new life I chose.

And since then, I've worked for that life.

New career doing something I am compelled to do, which feels so right.
Marriage to the man I love and was compelled to never give up on, which feels so right.

I count my blessings today and give myself a bit of a pat on the back. I know how hard it was to get here. And I also know how easy it was too.

And today, Mark & I have the Big Flip charts out ... plotting our course and dreaming and conjuring up what's next.

Anything still seems possible.

Wednesday 1 October 2008