Monday 29 May 2006

way married

third time's a charm








Friday 26 May 2006

a few spare moments

or should I just say lazy ones ...

I need to clean the house. And prepare. And go to the gym. And make phone calls. After all, I am getting married again tomorrow. Instead,I just took a nap (it is 11:45 in the a.m.) and am having another cup of tea. I am still in my jammies and spend the better part of a half hour looking at People magazine celebrity pictures online. I can't help but notice that I should be more excited about this Part 2 Celebration. Aren't brides supposed to be thrilled that they can wear the dress again? Be the princess again? I discovered last year that i am not a very good bride.

I am having a hard time getting it up for it. I am tired. Getting married is hard. Fun, but hard. And we already did it. Beautifully, I might add. Everything went as it should and we both loved the day and what it meant. That was a month ago. What does tomorrow's mean? I am searching. Trying to get an angle on it. The 2 people mark really wanted to be there can't come ... his grandparents. Too ill, too fragile for the trip.

I want to be a civilian again. Stop caring if my arms are tan. Or skin spot free. Nails perfect. I want to search for a job, go to the library, research places to live in Edinburgh. Remember how to coach. Cook. Go to the gym without visions of big white dress following me and go for the sake of health and happiness. Not to prove slim brideness. I am so sick of that.

I know this will all come. In 3 days time. For now I need to get the lead out. Remember that this is the only wedding many important people will witness. Smile. Be gracious and bridey. Meet a lot of relatives for the first time. Be charming.

First, I must clean the toilet.
Find all my wedding underwear. Jewelry. Pack for the night in the hotel. Get organized.

Both the being and the doing seem hard right now.

I am sure it will kick in --- the excitement and adreneline of hair and make up and people flying in and champagne and speeches. It will, right? Promise? Yes, it will.

Maybe I just need to remember that I get to say I Love You to my Mark in front of all his family and friends. Yeah- that is the clincher. That is what it is about. He is my husband, our life is together, here I am. Here we are. Yes. I can get behind that -- behind him, us. It isn't about the dress and the DJ. Never was. Not even the first time. It is about him.

And with that, I am off...

Thursday 25 May 2006

hugging the trees Posted by Picasa

like being in heaven Posted by Picasa

And the pappy of the forest. (the mother is bigger!) Posted by Picasa

mother of the biggest Redwoods in Big Basin State Park Posted by Picasa

Our rad rental SUV Posted by Picasa

channeling G in arty feet shots. The sand was so firm you didn't even leave footprints Posted by Picasa

scary seaweed. looked like something from a sci-fi B flick Posted by Picasa

easy, breezy, shiny, happy Posted by Picasa

We could be models. Walking on the beach of Clint Eastwood's town, Carmel. Posted by Picasa

along the coastal road... clear, cold, stunning. And the view was nice too Posted by Picasa

Adorable place we stayed in Calistoga. There were 1,000 bees in that lavender. Posted by Picasa

at our fantastic dinner at the CIA's Greystone. Y-U-M. Posted by Picasa

lost in the bramble Posted by Picasa

ahhhh, the life! Posted by Picasa

at Hall vineyerd... where we ate sammiches and life was good Posted by Picasa

only 1/2 drunk at this point Posted by Picasa

One of the highlights -- Mumms champagne tasting in the sunny sunny sunshine Posted by Picasa

grapes of Cakebread vineyard! Posted by Picasa

treats of chinatown Posted by Picasa

chinatown Posted by Picasa

The aforementioned vodka martinis... in St Regis swank bar Posted by Picasa

the wind, she was a blowing Posted by Picasa

Bay boat ride, including headphone narration! Posted by Picasa

obligatory in san fran Posted by Picasa

happy honeymooners on the necessary cable car rides! Posted by Picasa