badda boom

And WHAM, it is almost April.  Clocks finally changed here, bringing us aligned with our friends in North America and helps me from counting on my fingers 2 and 3 times to see when my US appointments are.

We await mortgage news. Stay calm. 

I am awake and excited.

New and yummy clients on the horizon. Hurrah! 

Gray hairs sprouting. (Long ones not just the little ones that frame one's face)

Leadership program getting real and getting a bit sticky. But definitely getting me involved. 

My List of 20 calls me. I am answering. 

I continue to go to to the gym.  Haven't braved a class yet but the possibility is getting closer as I do my hour of solo sweating without collapse. 

I am having my weekly driving lesson, not without teeth gritting when told when to shift to 3rd. 

Life feels on the brink of Busy.

20 ways

Indeed, I have completed my homework for Retreat 1.

And I BRAVELY share it here. I needed to list 20 ways I could manifest or express my purpose. They could be anything -- things I may do tomorrow or things I never do, but the goal was to get aligned to what feels fun, exciting and floats my boat.

Don't be alarmed if you are named in this and have not been informed.

My purpose is to compassionately refuse to let you hide your true, magical, human self. I get to the heart of the matter and the heart of what matters.

1. Become weight loss/wellness leader for Weight Watchers/ Slimming World

2. Interview my parents and siblings for living history project

3. Learn shiatsu

4. Affiliate with Aveda in the UK; coaching/wellness

5. Use Charming Gardener blog to nurture friend community, make interactive postings, request submissions to share stuff

6. Train to be Aveda esthetician

7. Create Rotating Supper Club with friends

8. Create Friendship Slut type program in UK

9. Host Philo Clubs

10. Take improv classes to work on my humour timing

11. Write letters to all the people I love telling them all the things I love about them.

12. Create PJ Program – to encourage people to be real and relaxed

13. Write and submit slice of life articles to Psychologies, Choice and local magazines

14. Set up Life Club in Glasgow

15. Co-author friendship book with Lexie

16. Try out for CTI UK front-of-room leader

17. Partner with like-minded coaches to bring coaching into workplace in a fun and non-stuffy way

18. Create coaching niche to work with and in conjunction with healing industry- massage, acupuncture, wellness, yoga

19. Participate in Toastmasters/Storytelling program

20. Create line of greeting cards that get to inner goo and expresses things in a unique and real way

21. Partner with Mary J to create Infinite Good gear – cards, t-shirts, totes and sell online

big day

1. We put a bid on a place in Glasgow.
2. I PASSED my Life in the UK Test. Took it in 4 minutes.
3. I dry roasted some almonds
4. That was the big one

laziest sunday ever

5:09 p.m. and I am still in my jimjams. 

It is the best Sunday ever.  

After a weekend of actual social engagements (thank you PP and Matthew and Dorothy) and more Glasgow home hunting, Mark & I are 10000% flopping.  Working through the day with various TV and snacks.  Toast. I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry ( So dumbly perfect for today) Nap. Frozen pizza. Mary Poppins. Everybody Loves Raymond  season 1 marathon. Mixed Nuts and smoothie. 

The day is giving up the ghost and it is fast becoming too late to put on clothes and wash my face.  

What I should be doing is reading my Life in the UK book, kindly produced by the Home Office to prepare me for my multiple choice Life in the UK test so I may have the Indefinite  Right to Remain.  Catchy visa name, eh?  

My test is tomorrow at 3 p.m. I have (kinda) read the book and paid attention to the House of Commons/House of Lords/Commonwealth info since I really didn't know boo about that stuff. But when it came to How to Get a Doctor, Holidays, Leisure, Money and Credit, I figure I pretty much have made that up as I went along these last 4 years. 

Maybe I'll just put the book under my pillow. 

the moment you have all been waiting for

I went to the gym.

After months of every excuse I could think of and then generally lalalalaing and running from my conscience I pulled out my finger. 

Maybe it was hurting my back from what I am imagining loose core muscles of too many nights on the couch that put me over the edge.  Or knowing that I am going to Florida in May and I shudder to expose anything below my neck.  Or knowing that I am going back to Leadership in May where I will face more psycho/physical challenges and it will be shorts weather there.  Or maybe because the sun came out today. 

Or maybe I am just ready.

I tried not to think about it as I put on my sports bra and gear, trainers (which felt oddly tight) with Mark's nicked nano iPod and a big bottle of H2O and went. 

Virgin Active near our house is really nice. And surprisingly populated for a mid-day/mid-week  visit.  Granted, I didn't set any records today... after all, I am still popping anti inflammatories like tick tacks.  But I got sweaty. And I feel my muscles underneath all my flesh wanting to come out and be used. 

It didn't feel as bad as I imagined.  It felt, in fact, good. Mostly to my conscience, who has been taking a beating for a very long time on this issue.  It is nice to come clean. 

living on purpose

It has been a while since I actually wrote anything here that was more than news.  I feel a bit bad about that.  I feel like I have been hiding in the shadows and letting Life Maintenance  take center stage over other things. 

For my leadership course, we work off the premise of our life purpose, which  may sound grand and weird but in the coaching world is actually very normal and actually makes sense. 

Like- think about it .. What are you here on this earth to do?  What do you absolutely in your guts KNOW about yourself that makes you feel alive, real, awake and excited?  THAT is your purpose.  And you also know when you are living according and honouring it and you SO know when you are far far away from it.  (See Fannie Mae years for me)

When you are living On Purpose, you feel really pretty damn good. You have an aim and you are in a great flow of connection to yourself. It is nice. And one of the things I am working on is getting really clear on just what my purpose is.  It is hard to get the words to describe it. 

It is something to do with:

• Deep permission for  people to be their true authentic, messy, wonderful selves and to be in relationship with them
• Being the Radar to sense what is going on Really with people -- in themselves and in a group
  
• Wanting everyone to be seen in a Deep Democracy 
• It is to compassionately refuse to let them play small. I hold them to be bigger
  
• I want to get to the heart of the matter -- whatever the situation and the heart of WHAT matters most to people
  
• Seeing and loving the inner goo that makes people unique and who they are in their soul

See what I mean? I really love to be with people who are being their best selves, and to recognise and be real with what is not perfect and to be accepting of that. 

So I am playing with that all. As well as my leadership type -- a humour -- who plays with the space and can shift it.  And I want all of the above to be done lightly and with love and easiness and humour. 

So now I must make a list of the 20 ways I can manifest that purpose (when I can get it culled down to its essence and a sentence that 'works' for me!) and eventually to make that list things I will DO.

So I am not going to agonize over whether  this makes sense to anyone else just now.  But at the end of the day  I really want to translate all this so it makes sense to the people of my life and the people 'out there' so they too can get this cool connected space. 

Dear readers - whadda ya think??

is this what heaven looks like?

Diclofenac

a very nice little pill that is allowing me to MOVE.

And hardly have to ring my man bell at all.

dab nab it

I was all fired up and inspired yesterday and started a post to expound on my leadership journey and what I am learning. Big picture.   I started it and am half way thorough it. Makes me feel connected all over.

And buggar all, my back is gone haywire on me. Like crippling ouch ouch ouch pain every time I shift. It is making all other thoughts and actions seem really unimportant.

Amazing how quickly pious and higher thought goes into the toilet when you have an immediate and LOUD physical need.

So my Deep Thoughts will have to wait. As I ring my little bell in hopes of a male nurse.

the way of the weegie

Up too early in our rented accommodation for our weekend of Glasgow Discovery.  It is exciting at first glance to look for a Proper Owned Home.  I've waited a good long time for this day.  The thought of painting and putting up towel rails that we actually get to keep instead of donating them to the rental houses we live in, is thrilling. Plus dog ownership and all that. 

While I thought swapping beloved Edinburgh for grittier Glasgow wouldn't be a cake walk, it may prove harder than I imagined.  Now, we need really to move for the sake of Mark's sanity.  3 hours each day in total to-ing and fro-ing does not bode for life quality.  Agreed. 

But after trekking around in Weegie's West End in literally Umbrella Breaking wind and rain for a day, I think this place may age me in a way I have been able to hold off.   Serious grey skies. Which is OK.  I even LIKE melancholy days to keep me in and cozy and reading.  But I am not sure I could hack it 90% of the time. Edinburgh's slightly eastern position really saves us from the worst of Scotland's weather and we enjoy more days of light and less days of pouring down.  The city is bigger. And life seems harder.  You can see it on the faces of the people who walk by you. 

But yes, the Glasweegians are FRIENDLY.  Really down to earth and open.  Unbelievably, seeing that it is a kind of harsh place.  But as they say , if you aren't good looking you'd better be rich, Or funny. Or smart.  And it does have Friendly going for it.  And really more affordable (Amazing Chinese Take Out from Chow's on Byres Road with entrees at literally £4.50)

I guess we hadn't properly realized how great we have it in Edinburgh. Spitting distance to all things we want. Outside garden. Private entrance. Adorable areas to live.  Small enough to feel contained. Big enough to have all things urban. And the occasional Blue Sky. 

So this is a work in progress.  We are cosmic ordering A Home We Both Love that we Feel Great In and can Grown In.  Open to suggestions.