come together. right now.

I can scarcely believe I have stolen this slice of the clock to sit and reflect. It feels suspiciously intended for me to gather and comment.

Moving house, late stage pregnancy, managing toddlers, selling a flat: what are things that are complicated. what are things that are stressful. what are things that are tiring.

All true. And yet, here I am with an hour on my own. Chores done. Lists crossed off (for now). And  a sense of not calm exactly, but more okay-ness with it all.

I feel like I have been staring at a mountain of puzzle pieces that someone dumped out -- all the same colour and no picture as a guide. Daunting and brain-achingly big. But somehow we've managed a few of the edge pieces together ... and a few of the central ones. I still don't know where many of the pieces go, or what the picture looks like, but I now see it is possible.

It helps and soothes enormously that my partner is deeply committed to problem solving, puzzle piecing and is not scared to put an excel spreadsheet to good use. I just keep turning the pieces over and lining them up. Once in a while I find one that fits.

No big lesson here or lofty epiphany here, just a deep sense of relief that things, which seemed endlessly complicated, are actually fitting quite nicely. 

sharp left turn

Image: cbenjasuwan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

We have been sadly been living a Bon Jovi song ... living on a prayer. Which is a bit tough for an agnostic and a very lapsed Catholic.

Jobs end, money stops, mortgages and bills carry on.
Not real fun.
And now, we are half way there (continuing my Bon Jovi theme.)

A nice juicy contract position and a future to lean into ... ahhh.

And it is in Cambridge.

Not. Glasgow. Not even Scotland.

So here we are on the eve on this all beginning. The kick off.

After a long, cold winter of worrying and waiting for change, tomorrow it starts.

Tomorrow he begins this job.
Tomorrow we begin time apart while we work on moving forward.
Tomorrow things change.

I think the AA serenity prayer is particularly handy right now.

As well as trust. Faith. Hope. Connection. And most of all love.

We know that as long as we are together, happy, healthy and comfortable, our home is together. And that together is just going to be somewhere else.

Selling the flat, packing, moving, explaining it all to a 2.5 year old all while carrying the load of a 3rd trimester at my advanced maternal age with my tiny tolerance for chaos may test my mettle. And my sanity.

So we take this sharp left. We aren't sure what it looks like. Or how it will be. But does anyone? Every time the Universe has asked demanded change and I can go without attachment and with an open heart and a clear vision, it has blown my expectations wide.

So we begin with eyes open, hearts full.