Thursday 22 April 2010

ticking my boxes

A dear friend of mine recently commented that I have "ticked the major boxes" in my life... meaning, marriage, house, child.   Tick. Tick. Tick.

Huh ...  so I have.

I had never really expected to really *do* all that.  I met my husband when I was 32 and got married at 38.  I got my name on a mortgage to our flat at 40 and I had my son when I was 42.

I lived many adult years when those dreams felt very far fledged and unattainable. I just wanted to pay off my credit card bill, have some cute shoes, a boy to date and to get out of my studio apartment.  I didn't really dare dream any bigger back then.

Through coaching, luck,  a bit of Chutzpah and nothing to lose, I found and chased my dream of more.

I feel incredibly grateful to have the life that I do ... and it was all worth not only the wait, but the dream.  So often people are afraid to dream about what they want, as if it exposes the greater ache and need for more.  They settle quietly for the things they don't really want, while trying not to notice their souls are slowly evaporating.

What I am learning is that the dream is really really important to the process.  Allowing space and time to muse on what you want is not only delicious but vital to crafting the reality.  (If you build it, they will come theory.)

So, yeah, I have ticked some central and happy boxes.
Yay Me.
Grateful Me.
My life is indeed more than I ever imagined.

And now the job is to dream of bigger boxes to tick.


Anonymous said...

I was there with you at 30, and you were pretty darn content then (or so it seemed). Were these the things you wanted then? Or did your list of wants and desired boxes change as you got older, evolved, moved, met the right guy, found the right home... Or were you pissed off at 30 and I just didn't know it?

Andy (the bad one)

Anonymous said...

This is such an interesting topic you bring up. The boxes you list are things I've considered as priorities in the past - but they eluded me... now that I'm 42 I find myself looking at new boxes and letting go of old ones. It's an exciting and daunting process! I am extremely grateful and hopeful for the journey that I'm on. It's nice to have a fellow traveler! Thanks for sharing Carol!
Karen Diliberti

Anonymous said...

Carol, this is very profound. Having ticked off the same boxes myself, and wondering what is next I find that you are so right in saying that new dreams must continue. Thank you for came just at the right time, and I am grateful to you for sharing! Michele Trull