from charming maeve

God bless Mary Jaffe and her keen understanding of the power of the Mary Jane and her keen sense of kindness.

I am modeling my Mary Jane slippers which I have not much taken off since she sent them to me a week ago. Ridiculously adorable and they make me disproportionally happy. 

sucked in

It seems as though my perspective has shifted. I remember when I first got to the UK and everything was new, interesting, a puzzle or an amusement to discover. Novel. Different. As was my approach to my new world order. I was curious, detached, thoughtful. I really enjoyed the sense of wonder and the view of myself as explorer and brave for taking on new life.

Hmmm. I find myself now after 2 years slipping back into not noticing things in the same way. I am being sucked in. Sucked down and reshaped. My world perspective is shrinking again. And I don’t like it. Old habits, comfortable patterns, smaller thinking.
Why do we only get really interested and curious about our world when we are on vacation or in new situations? After a while we filter out the new and readily trade it in for the familiar. Where we operate in autopilot. And comfort. We know what to expect and that’s what we get.

I am struggling a bit with the realignment with an actual job. With my new identity as worker. People ask what I do and I am not sure if I would say coach or marketing person. My self-notions are blurry. And that in itself is not familiar. Or comfortable.

I feel like I am getting the chance to right the wrongs of my former corporate life. Do it now in a new way. In a way that calls me forward with my whole self. I have a chance at reinventing and being called forth in an active way. Less safe then coaching from home on its own. More exposed. More tricky too. I now have to practice the balance I preach to clients. Exercising the same awareness and principles. It is cloudy from the inside. To keep my perspective of curious wonder.

And not drown.

teeth and lipstick

Pauline and me in coordinating tops at Tigerlily. Dirty martinis.  

Babs with fab crochet dress and pink alcohol at the George Street BE Seen bar Tigerlily 

Glasses askew self portrait 

modeling

the new grown up, seats 6 dining room table and the newly rebuilt conservatory. (which is already leaking) ... Mark & visiting Babs 

trying to master

Climbing down the stairs on the double decker bus while bus is in motion.

big saturday

1. we bought a new dining room table and 4 chairs! sturdy pine and the kind you want to read the paper on or linger over actual meal with potential to invite guests over. Charity shop 85 quid.
2. custom made knee high boots for those whose calfs are, um, shapley. Or athletic! Glory be... just in time for those fall skirts. www.dioboots.com.
3. these are reasons to keep working. I am afraid I have awoken the material giant who wants to own things again. dangit.
   

linking to the world

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I am not Madonna

But I find myself assimilating and unavoidably using these words like an insider or, in otherwords, trying to be understood.

Leave it with me – I’ll take it from here.
That lunch was a bit dear
Regards in signing off emails
I am a wee bit fillintheblank – hungry, upset, sleept, etc.
How do you spell the surname?
Here’s moBILE number
Let’s take the lift
I like your jumper
Please check your diary
Hold on a tick
Has the post come yet?
Do you have a plaster?
Have you had your tea?
Did you get your fringe cut?
Chuck it in the bin
Ring me later

who's that girl

lil spicy and big crunchy at club jump, circa 1990, courtesy of cherry sunshine, a.k.a. Mike Fields.

A true bucky badger flashback. Whoever says I haven't aged needs to look at the fresh face of what was once me at 22.

anyone else see the similarity?

not sure I can buy into the big bead trend

bit of both

Bad things	Good things
Mark has to study all the time	I get to watch all the Will & Grace reruns without comments from the peanut gallery Time is more fun together cuz is novel now Autonomy Time for new pals Time for new book club Focus on coaching in off hours
Everything closes at 5:30	Spend lunch hours doing errands Predictable
Everyone seems to know everyone	Everyone seems to know everyone
Streets a bit rubbish strewn	Gives jobs to street cleaners
Snacks at the workplace	Snacks at the workplace
No time to cook	Making big batches of yummy things over the weekend
Working for a living	Productive member of society Money Human interaction Challenge Learning
Still copper haired	Stopped caring
NLP class lame – dropped out	New client for Tuesday nights!

almost 10:30 a.m.

and I am NOT eating the PB&J I have in my drawer.

It is called Progress.

P.S. I won't mention that I am eating a baggie full of Oatabix cereal instead.

on the way to work

Do you have a place that you eyeball on your daily commute and think, “Oh how I wish I could just go THERE instead of the office today.”

Mine used to be the Brothers Coffee in Cleveland Park. As I trudged to the red line metro everyday I would peer in and dream of long and relaxing time with coffee and the Washington Post. Maybe a scone. Look out the window onto Connecticut Avenue at all the DC commuters and passer-by, hustling and heads down. And just sigh contentedly knowing I could stay put.

I have found my new spot here in Edinburgh, and I believe it is a nice upgrade from the strip mall coffee place full of odd seniors and crazy people from my building in Quebec House.

Princes Steet Gardens

My a.m. walk to work is about 35 waking walking minutes, so I take the bus. Or I sweat on it anyway. (Why will no one open the windows?) The route takes me down the high street here – Princes Street. One side is shops and stores and commerce and the other side is Princes Street Gardens. I try to position myself to face West and the gardens, so I can take in the view to the castle and Old Town. Hilly and old beautiful buildings and green and just makes you want to breathe deeper. The gardens have meandering paths and benches every step of the way in case you want to stop and look at one of the many statues/monuments or take in the view, read the paper or dream or rest. I dream of just getting off the bus there and spending the day being calm and of course, reading the paper with a lingering hot beverage. (All my fantasies include a leisurely hot beverage, which says something about me that is perhaps sad.)

Apparently, Princes Street was once a residential area. The wealthy class of Edinburgh had chosen it for its panoramic view: the Old Town and Edinburgh Castle. One of the reasons the Old Town was preserved so well is because the rich didn't want their home views spoiled by shops, so the Old Town was never touched.

Thank god, as now it keeps me morning fantasy alive. And the view from the 11 dreamy.