OCD

things I feel I have OCD about:
- bed making
- pillows on couches
- lighting
- clutter free surfaces
- e-mail checking
- Facebook checking
- stocking and replenishing household items and groceries
- laundry
- making soup

What kind of disease is this? No wonder I feel I don't have time to do things or to think or muse or relax? All this faffing about plumping pillows and making lists of toothpaste and milk and HP Sauce is taking up all my bleedin' time!

We are in a deep state of Waiting for the Next Thing here. It is almost time. Mark is finishing his dissertation and looking for a job. A job, which will hopefully secure many fundamental things in our future such as where we live, how we live, what I will do and at what level of financial security we will have, which dictates a whole other level of items. We kinda have to trust the universe.

Ultimately I believe things will work out, well, great. They tend to. And I believe that we will land squarely on our feet with the sunny side up. I really do believe that. And in my heart I know that no mater what happens we will be more than OK. But somehow making soup and keeping house and all my 'busy' work must weirdly be my brain's way of coping. Of control. It ain't much fun. But we have plenty of toilet paper at all times.

keep on keeping on

Alas, Charming Gardener is not on hiatus. Just gone quiet. Into work mode. Things just going. Not lifting my head for looking askew at the world with the detached wondering or feeling the chirpy newsy note place either. Just plodding along. Not bad. Just is.

I do see a light coming this weekend as we spend our few spare ££ and are going to the Western part of Scotland to stay in a cute B&B for our FIRST (how did that happen so quickly) marital anniversary. I envision air, green, lochs, bottles of wine, looking across the table at Mark's calm face. Which will be much preferred to the glimpse of him that I am seeing now.